We are suppose to be moving into the ice age but global warming is winning which is causing temperatures to reach a higher degree and those who will not be able to adapt to the heat will eventually die. Fresh water will be scarce because the poles will melt and become undrinkable water which will increase the sea levels causing the coastal areas to be flooded.
But excuse me, the world has bigger issues than just the normal ‘The world’s coming to the end’ scenario. Double excuse me, but makeup is our first humanitarian crisis. Forget Trump, forget the silicones Kardashians and just take the rest of your life to ponder about how you will never be able to take pictures without makeup anymore. Plus what else is there to think about, I mean South Africa already has a SpongeBob for a president, water shortages and no electricity for 20 hours of the day, so what do we have to lose?
Why waste thousands of rands on luxurious branded makeup and tools when you can just make life much easier by being a cheap skate? It’s ridiculous how expensive makeup is and to all South Africans dismay- we have to be selling the fake products for quarter of the original price just to make some pocket money. And if that little amount does not allow you to purchase one Huda Beauty eyeliner at a local trade fair then you just wait and hope that this valentines you get a bouquet of original makeup (as cliché as it seems) *hint hint*
But I have to ask… What’s the new craze with women using blades on their faces? Just because one famous artist said she uses it, does not give you the incentive to as well. I know the world is falling apart and women want to be equal to men, but does it really come down to shaving your face ? Come on, you don’t want your face to become prickly, turn green and have razor scars! Eww!
But nonetheless, I can’t believe that majority of makeup hacks still do not work. And after spending endless amount of time researching and looking at hacks which I thought would be easy enough to at least get me through a ‘5 makeup hacks tried and tested’ post, the realization hit me- well more like fell on my head- but anyways… I would much rather prefer calling it ‘The fails of 2016!’ Now don’t be disheartened and stop reading because maybe you’d learn something and perhaps not pull your teeth out- if it turns out to be the new style in the future.
Are these makeup hacks fails?
- Use your lash curler to get the perfect eyeliner sitch- FAIL
Ok, the reason this was an epic fail beats me. This was actually more messier than a teenage boys room. Unless you have a fetish for drag pandafide queens, I would not suggest using this. But when you do get set up on a blind date with someone out of your league and you want to look as if you just came back from a haunted house on Halloween- then go for it.
- To make your lipstick last all day, hold a tissue over your lips and dust them with translucent powder- PASS
Surprisingly this worked so I can’t complain but since I went to school with really red lips the following day after testing this out- I would suggest that you order yourself some really powerful makeup wipes. Though, you might just taste powder if your tissue some how gets torn between your lips. (NB. I WAS NOT CHEWING ON THE TISSUE, JUST SAYING)
- Place the eye stencil on your eyelid and colour on the empty spaces with mascara- FAIL
Really now! How on Mars are both wings suppose to be the same size with the same pointiness at the same angle. If I can not perfect my eyeliner with a stencil, how on Jupiter does everyone else manage to wing that butcher knife eyeliner. I find it so astonishing and hell of creepy at the same time that makeup hacks have come down to this.
- Brush your teeth with turmeric powder for whitening- PASS
Mind the taste and the yellow stains left on your toothbrush because this actually works. It’s definitely different from those masks that leave your face looking yellow as if you enjoyed a holi fight or went to a colour run with staining features. This is probably my favourite hack from all because who would not want to have flawless white mealies?
- Mix corn flour and coco powder together and apply to your oily hair as dry shampoo- PASS BUT NO
A few weeks ago, a hairdresser advised me to use this as a healthy option instead of dry shampoo. And since my hair becomes oily over night, it would also be a cheaper way out, though it did cover up my baldness. But it made me look as if I had poured a bucket of sand on my head- yes, that rusty shabby hairdo was not working. So I guess I’m stuck to washing my hair everyday to avoid being Ms Over Indian Oily Head.
Well that’s all I have for you today… Like and comment down below and make sure to follow me on Instagram @safiyabhamjee and @safiyabhamjee_blog for weekly blog posts.